Getting caught up in the drama of our lives blinds us from reality and seeing the simplicity in the moment. As I am writing this on the rooftop deck of my friend's apartment complex, I'm amazed at the beauty of the afternoon (pictures included). To my right is Lake Michigan and the sandy shore line that hugs it. Before me, could be the view of John Hancock and the Magnificent Mile. A carpet of green trees and bright rooftops lay below. An orange sunny sky looms above. A white bikini clad young woman lies to my right, sunning on a dark wrought iron chaise three chairs over. I possibly could see how easy it is always to be so caught up in the events of my entire life that even the serenity and wonderment of such views could be overshadowed by drama's stories, grieves and hurts.Dramacool
The difficult and painful events which have occurred in our past and our fears about the future blurs our vision and keeps us stuck in a quagmire of deceit. So caught up are we in the drama of our lives that we quite often neglect to notice how blue could be the sky or green are the trees or so white could be the bikini. Our anatomies might physically take the "here and now" but our minds definitely are not.
Drama binds us to the past and holds our future captive. We tend to think that our responses to recent events are derived from present feelings when in fact they represent unfinished, unresolved and uncompleted emotions. We often don't see that drama keeps us in the situation of the past in our present. Kept limited to our dramas, we never heal and we never grow. What we are able to study from new experiences never present themselves because we dilute the lesson with drama.
An episode is really a deep and very personal story of what the "event" designed to us. It can be an engineered story of the "what is" by giving the "what is" an individual meaning. An example: imagine you are driving down the expressway at a safe speed. Someone in a low rider races behind you, quickly swerves to your lane and manages to cut you off before driving away. The reality of "what is" is that someone is speeding and quickly swerves into your lane. The personal story or drama which you created at that moment could be "Just what a jackass! She must think I'm driving too slow and that I am not just a good enough driver. Now we take the big event personally. Another reality: your partner walks from the marriage. Your drama is: "I am unworthy of love" or "I can't trust anybody anymore, I will just get hurt again if I remarry."
How we are able to "grow" from drama is to recognize the difference between what's reality and what's drama. Reality is just an event separate from any emotions (I got fired from my job / I obtained divorced). Drama is our personal story, the reason why, we make up of how the big event affects us and what it methods to our lives (My boss is really a real jackass / I am unlovable). We always want to create meaning in everything that happens in our lives. Healing and growing starts by understanding the difference between what's reality and what's fiction and then just accepting the big event as it is (I no longer have a job) minus the drama.
I know easier said then done. Sometimes it's in the story and the personal meaning behind it that makes life interesting but once the story repeats itself time and time again in an endless cycle, the big event never dies. It consistently repeats itself in similar situations even with years of the original occurrence; old feelings of hurt are resurrected. (I text her but she didn't text back. She must not like me and anyone who doesn't text me right me straight away later on must mean they don't love me as well. Love blows!). Drama doesn't allow us to cultivate into mature experienced adults rather we remain emotionally stagnant at this it's occurrence.
The dramas in our lives are made by made-up untrue beliefs while denial shrouds the real issues. We arrive at awaken from the drama once we accept the fact we have the best power to change our lives. If we can create mental poison and emotions then we are also able to make a positive spin on a single event. Change the idea and emotions into something positive which will empower us and inspire others and subsequently we arrive at take back control in our lives. By accepting the big event as what it's will free us from the emotional bond as it demonstrates that only our jobs or relationships are ending and not our lives. This can be achieved by writing out a set of what's happening without attaching the emotions related to it. In the event of losing a job your list might include:
1. I have already been fired
2. I no longer have a job
3. I must find a brand new job
4. I don't have any income
5. I've little savings
After reading over your notes and removing all of the drama or unworthiness, fear, blame and guilt can disappear. The important points have presented itself in ways as you are able to address each issue to create solutions that you can now handle and benefit from. Acceptance will enable you to detach from the drama so that you will have the ability to see your life separate from the emotions as fear and any negativity is washed away. You feel some other observer in the events allowing you to effectively, clearly and without any judgments control of one's reactions and your life.
In the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of the big creeds that allow its members to higher handle their lives. Inside, it states: "Acceptance is the answer to any or all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is really because I find some person, place or thing, or situation -some fact of my life- unacceptable in my experience, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it's allowed to be as of this moment."
No comments:
Post a Comment